Splat

memory served me well

2009-11-22T22:14:34Z

I remembered my password. I never had anything to write about just like I usually have nothing interesting, witty or constructive to say in conversation. So i guess just like conversations this blog writing thing thinned out. I'm laying in bed listening to my self wheeze as I breathe, a tad stoned, too lazy to go pee or make my oatmeal. But i'll hit the bowl again!

I'm glad I finally watched The Hangover, the movie was pure hilarity and genius comedy. How do others find what will be so funny to millions?

I've been at home all weekend because they banged my mouth on friday, to extract my two wisdom teeth on the right side. I can't tell i'f i'm chewing on stiches or skin but every time I bite down there is a weird stretchy thing in between my back bite. I'm sick of laying around and honestly I should of been writing my 8 pg paper which is due tomorrow. But I'll slap something together at the last minute and get 10 points at least to pass the class. I don't learn or care about classes it seems...it's too easy to just skate by and pass then actually learn.

I may take another oxy...i kinda want to... yum... I just wish there was something i could do to turn Nate on, i'm sick of cheating on him... i think i may be losing it.

so pumped

2008-11-29T11:24:33Z

About my new pumps!

that girl

2008-11-21T08:43:08Z

One of these these things just doesn't belong here
And look at that girl
Oh, I just don't belong here
And look at that girl - Esthero

My day went just as I had imagined it.

There were annoying students at work...but the day went by fast. I went and closed my bank account and got some cash, ate lunch at Costco across the street. Got high. Went to step class and before getting in the shower text Danny to ask if he wanted to hang. He said "sure" and we did the usual. Got high. He held me but I don't think he likes me more than the sex. I wish he did, but at this point I don't know how to tell or how to be desired. The sex makes my brain fuzzy. And I keep going back for more. I want it but I also think I want to get to know him - at least selfishly enough to the point where I know he's around. I need the security. I'm over random texts, perverts, players and mostly just being alone. All my friends think i'm jolly being single, i'm busy. But i'm getting to the point where I'm over it.

Got home and Amanda (big sonic chill) struck a cord with that track. Eddie text me that he can't sleep, now I don't know if I'll be able to either.

I just hope it all settles soon. As much fun as I have it's all predictable. I want unpredictable. Give me unpredictable.

Donna Summer 8.20.2008

2008-08-28T18:23:53Z

A few months back Eric brought it to my attention that Donna Summer was going to be playing this summer and said we should take my mom to the show. I agreed; Mom was uber-excited. Tickets seemed a bit pricey ($50) but we were all willing to pay after Eric went into his recap of the show he attended of hers a few years back. Plus she has a new album out this year!

We all know I am not a fan of most R&B or even old pop music but Donna Summer definitely has some disco jems that I cannot discount! So we rounded up Wednesday at Eric's place for a cocktail before the show. MMMMM vodka. Viejas is kind of a haul especially from our house so we got there around 8pm and she was already on stage! The "concert in the park" venue was super sweet... not huge but the stage set was pretty sweet. And a summer night in the east county desert felt good. Full band (drummer, keyboards, guitar, bass, 3 background gurlz, 3 male dancers and Donna)...They had screens in the background that did different graphic montage's and colors along with the songs. Donna changed her outfit about 4 times!

I was impressed by her new music; she is definitely trying to appeal to an almost poppy top 40, urban crowd but it worked out pretty well and I liked every song I heard; the lady can sing!! All the old jams got everyone dancing but it was a pretty mellow crowd. Lots of gay men and older couples. She even had an intermission..don't know when i've ever been to a concert with an intermission! It was cute to see this super old couple, husband with a cane and wife all hunched over, enjoying themselves and dancing a little bit. I really only wanted to go for fun with Mom and Eric but I ended up enjoying all of the music so that was a plus!

good times had by all. 4/5 stars.

change is gon' come

2008-07-22T23:04:46Z

so it's been too long since i've posted anything. that's because my writing fails me and I never have anything constructive or insightful to publish. meh. I'm going to change this blog to a concert recap blog...I think having a focus will bring my writing to a point where it might actually be interesting!

August is coming and so are a bunch of fucking awesome shows!

Aug 8 - Immortal Tech (possibility)
Aug 10. - Nas (possibility)
Aug 20 - Donna Summers (tickets on the fridge!! say word!)
Aug 27 - RADIOHEAD (tickets on fridge!! most anticipated concert of my life...been waiting to see them for years)
Sept 19& 20 - Street-scene downtown SD! more acts than you can think of buddy...www.street-scene.com

I was supposed to fly up to SF for the Rock the Bells there Aug 16 but the person who I was going to go with just completely vanished and is playing the whole silent treatment thing on me even though I see him online EVERYDAY. what an ass. the nerve of some people. honestly! and then noone down here is really trying to get down like i am...it would be great to see ATCQ and NAS all on one bill but I guess it will have to wait :P

the end

2008-01-07T04:42:58Z

it's so bitter sweet when people give you their opinion on a relationship after its over. it's like - why didn't you mention this before?!?
and I know i'm the last one to want to get in the middle of someone elses love life...but...well whatever. I don't know how it lasted this long. I already feel lonely which makes no sense cause Gary and I were barely together that often.

i guess its just an emptiness, which i never should have depended on him to fill in the first place. i'm blaming myself although i know i did nothing wrong.

there were hints of what was to come that I did not yield to.

i'm spinning...falling; and have no idea of where i will land.

2008

2008-01-02T22:16:18Z

so I rang in the new year @ this warehouse party in LA. I wanted to go because MF Doom was performing and i'm a fan; never seen him in concert. Unfortunately he decided to lipsynch and/or sent an impostor out in his place, which is easy to do if you wear an iron mask, or so it seems. The audience was not convinced and floods of people left the main room making it easier for me to get closer...where I realized he was pulling my leg. WTF is that? Kinda started the year off on a bad foot - i'm hoping that doesn't mean this year will be filled with FAKEness or cheating or the like.

anyway HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Decemberitis

2007-12-03T18:45:53Z

Yeaaah December is here, the year is over and i'm still waiting for things to slow down. I guess maybe I just need to catch up!

Gary, Sabrina and I went to see Electroma on Friday night. I can say its the most interesting movie I've seen in a long time. I actually enjoyed the silence while G was waiting for the beat to drop the whole movie. There was a lot of suspense in the long scenes with no big pay off until the very end. I had no idea what to expect as I didn't want to see any trailers or read any reviews until I saw it. I'm glad I did that because I was drawn into it wondering what the hell was going on while they were just driving for like the first 10 minutes.

This week is my company's "holiday gala" which should prove to be a good time. I hope so anyway as I am spending a grip on my outfit and Gary is renting a damn tux!!

flattered

2007-11-02T23:56:53Z

Is it strange to be flattered by a booty call?!? I can say I was flattered and turned on. Made me feel naughty and excited. LOL...

My birthday was the SHIT in Vegas. Of course Ellen showed Sabrina and I the best time possible. check out the pics here:

http://picasaweb.google.com/s.sade.g/DaftPunkConcertCiaraSBirthdayInVegas

For Sabrina's birthday on monday we are going to see Ween! i've been seeing a lot of shows lately, I love it. Wish my man was more into the whole social lets go to concerts and out and about thing...but it hasn't been slowing me down! I do what i want!! I'm looking forward to looking forward right now, I guess because its 4:56 on a friday. wooo hoo.

edit: added pics from night of ween show.

the cowshed

2007-10-12T22:04:41Z

Dragged Sabrina out to a hip hop show in San Marcos last night. My friend Ivan (from work) is in a local groovy hip hop group called Grape St. Blues. Very kosher!

The place really did look like a cow-shed down to the moose heads on the walls, country kitchen decorations and wood furniture. The crowd was muy interesting! Had one or two many corona's and got down to the grooves of Grape St. Blues, Rock Bottom and Qwel!

only bitter ending was the fight the big 'roided up drunk ass started at the end of the night! i hate bar fights.

like my new userpic? anyone reading?!!??!

I nearly hit a skateboarder

2007-10-11T22:37:26Z

On the way to the gym a couple days ago i'm cruising along, singing along loudly to something obnoxious on the radio and am getting ready to turn into the parking lot. some kid around 14 is coming down the sidewalk fast and i guess wasn't paying attention to the busy driveway or maybe he has the right away? anyway as i was turning i noticed him coming fast, i tried to hit the breaks but he jumped off his board and kinda skipped-skidded-ran into the nearby grass.

scurry!! i'd be in jail for life for some kid who skates down busy streets right?

somebody is looking down on me and the shaggy haired teen.

userpics

2007-10-05T18:46:30Z

So am I supposed to have userpics that are more like avatar's? I need schooling on livejournal etiquette please!

Michigan was a blast - saw almost everyone I wanted to see (besides Mikey, Karmetta, Jenee and Geoff) but I really did make an effort to see them all. My dad let me borrow his car and although it meant I had to get up at the butt crack of dawn a couple of days it was mad worth it. I spent way too much $$. Got some new silver jeans, 3 new pairs of shoes and lots of alcohol. It was like nothing had changed since I left besides a few new business popping up and others shutting down. It was dark in Michigan, all over those years of me living there and i didn't know that I was living under a funky dark sky. I missed the bright sky and mountain views from SD but I miss my friends in Michigan A LOT ! It makes me sad to think I don't know if i'll ever make those type of bonds with new friends.

My feelings for Mike were reignited as soon as we started hanging out again! I didn't cheat on Gary though, which i'm proud and glad to say. There was nothing fishy about us hanging out just good platonic fun. He's living with some chick now but said that they tried to make it work and now are just roomates...don't know what to make of that but really it's none of my business. He says he'll be in Cali in Feb. - turning 30 in LA should be a good vacation for him.

Can't wait to see Gary tonight. He did come and see me Wednesday night but being that i'm still living with the 'rents all we really did was catch up, go out to dinner, drive around puffing some "god's son" and then went back to my house to cuddle and make out a little. Definitely overdue for some lovin and this weekend should be fabulous :P I still think he needs to step his game up and realize that I'm interested in moving forward not staying stagnant...which he has been doing for years now.

Work has been really laid back this week, for some reason I haven't had many calls to make. They gave everyone at the company the new nano video ipod! So I'm gonna give my nano to brina since hers is only 1 gig and start kickin it with this new one.

Michigan, here I come.

2007-09-19T16:51:31Z

YAY! I finally bought my ticket back to michigan, sept 22-30th. I've been informing everyone that I can think of to prepare for my return.

For some reason i've started to feel butterflies when thinking about Ann Arbor and all of my friends. I'm nervous about how i'm going to feel around everyone and when I leave if I'm going to be sad? It's weird, I've gotten so used to life out here in San Diego that Ann Arbor and my mindstate while I was there seems SOOOO distant.

I'm sure it will be a pleasant trip.

Saturday Joe is having a party because it will be his last night in town - he's there this week. That should be interesting, all my HS cronies reunited basically. That whole crew. Sunday night I wanna go to "elevation" I hear they moved the firefly to a new bigger spot, which is soooo good cus that place was always so crowded. I don't know if they have re-opened yet though. I hope so!

Then there are all my Detroit friends to see. My family in Detroit and that area. Tasha and Chantell. It will be non-stop.

I'm kinda bummed because I don't know when I'll see Gary. I normally spend weekends with him and i'm going to be gone two weekends in a row. Last weekend we were together but mostly with his brother and we didn't even "get it in" since Friday! That is lame... He says he is going to come see my Thursday night but we'll see. He flakes out a lot when it comes to driving down here - which sucks since i would drive across the country to see him if I had to. Wish I knew that he would do the same? I know he is staying with his brother this week but a few hours one evening shouldn't be a big deal. Plus I want to go to the J-Zone show which I know he would enjoy. We'll see.

it's my mom's 49th birthday today! I made dinner for her and Don last night. It was fun, I had a bit of chardonnay and got kinda buzzed up because I haven't been drinking much lately. I'm going to get my hair done today...get some braids or twists in the front so it will be easy to take care of while i'm on vacation. I also have to start packing. I'm excited.

friday, again...

2007-09-07T22:15:29Z

Time has been flying by so fast I can't even keep up with myself! Between going to the gym every weeknight, working, avoiding the 'rents and Gary things have been speeding by.

I've finished all my work and now have about 2 hours to kill. Somehow I miraculously remembered to call Justin Terio today - he had told me a few months back that he would be in Cali around this time. It's funny I remembered because he leaves tomorrow morning. He's staying at a friends house in LA and I told him i might be able to swing through and hang with them. Only problem there is that I do have plans with Gary and he had plans for us to just kick it me and him or go to his mom's....that's a whole other story. I tried calling him but he hasn't called back yet. But honestly picking up his brother from Jail or going to LA to kick it with Justin isn't too much of a hard choice. But I do love my boy and will probably end up doing whatever he wants me to do...does that sound pathetic?

next week i'm supposed to be starting my shake diet. should be interesting. I'm ready to lose like 60 lbs! for real!

It's the end of the month!?

2007-08-31T18:22:59Z

So, August is coming to an end and I still haven't bought a plane ticket to visit Michigan yet. By the middle of September it will officially be a year that I have been out here on the west coast. I can't believe that either. Time flies by fast when you get older!?!?
The rest of the time Maurella was here was good times. Rock the Bells turned out to be a really fun concert. I met Sage Francis - one of Gary's fav indie rappers, who was actually really down to earth and funny. He was out in the crowd when were watching Living Legends (while Cypress Hill was performing on the main stage) and he was dancing all crazy and doing annoying pranks to random people walking through the crowd. We also think we met Young Buck, we took a picture with him but it's like we still aren't sure if it was him. It defintely wasn't the type of show where Buck fans would be swarming, he seemed to be kicking it low key. It really looked like Young Buck and when I called from behind him "buck!" he turned around. He had this really big ridiculous watch and pinky ring. No big bling bling chain though. He had the cornrows like Buck has but he was bigger than I would have imagined. Buck is always really cut in the videos and stuff and he was not cut underneath that button down he was wearing. Anyway we have a picture and i'll let others be the judge. Maurella hasn't sent it to me yet or I would post it. I rolled two little pinners and got pretty zoned out at the show. The best part was when Wu Tang came on the main stage the basically told Security that was blocking the main floor to f-off so everyone could get closer. I bum rushed the stage and lost maurella for a few minutes in the crowd. It was mad cool though. The funniest part was at the end when some guys from the Wu came to the side of the stage after the majority of people had ran off to their cars and said any girls that wanted to come up could. Old bitches, fat bitches, girls who were dressed to go to the club, not a concert pushed their way up there. Maurella and I just laughed. I looked way too scrubbed out in my capri's and t to try and stunt and be picked out from a line of girls that were really trying to do their thing.
Point is Mo and I had a good time while she was here and I think it was really good for her to get out of the deuce for a minute after being a witness to such a brutal and violent murder. I still can't believe she has to go through that and I wish there was something to do or say...but there isn't really. I just hope it's not too hard for her and Teddy and that they get through it together. All the court shit will be stressful for sure.

On Maurella's last day we had major plans. My company was taking the whole company to Stingaree, a posh little restaurant/nightclub downtown and to a Padres baseball game. They rented out the rooftop of Stingaree from 5-7 for drinks and small appetizer type foods. I didn't get there until 6:20 and everyone was wasted. Honestly I was kind of shocked, but I don't know why because this place is like a High School with so much drama...So anyway Maurella walked around Horton Plaza while we were getting our drink on and then met us outside Stingaree to walk over to Petco park. I got her a ticket from a co-worker who wasn't going to the game. I was a bit buzzed up and we walked around Petco park and watched the game for about an 45 minutes with LaTasha. We all got in a cab and went back to Horton where our cars were. That's when I got a call from Gary and I could tell everything wasn't OK. He didn't want to tell me over the phone but I ended up making him tell me what was going on...his dad had passed away. Unexpectedly. He sounded a mess and all I wanted to do was be with him, plus he wanted to go up to his Mom's house and he was in no state to drive. We were on our way to another co-workers hotel room to get dressed up to go out clubbing downtown. I had to figure out what to do with Maurella since i was supposed to be driving her up to LAX the next morning so she could get on a plane. I ended up leaving her with my sister at American Apparel, she ordered a Amtrak ticket and was gonna be able to get up to LA for 25 bucks which seemed like a pretty good deal.
I ended up staying with Gary and his Family all weekend. The weirdest thing about the whole thing was that when we got there, it was only Karen (gary's mom) and Greg (gary's brother). All the family that had come over had already left. I sat outside for a couple hours puffin with Greg while Gary talked with his Mom. She was hysterically upset that night. Greg had been home with Mark all day and although he was drinking he had no idea what was going on. Mark was taking pills and drinking in the other room, taking Xanax that he had just been prescribed 2 days before. We still don't know if it will be considered suicide, in which case they would not recieve any of the insurance money. I have to say I'm worried about Gary. There were was a lot between him and his dad that he wanted to clear up, talk about and even just say. I'm trying to be supportive but also don't want to say the wrong thing or be judgemental.

Anyway this is just a small summary of what life has been like since last time I wrote. More later

xoxo

it's been so long

2007-08-09T22:03:51Z

It's been way too long since I had this account and hadn't used it. Today has been another extremely boring day at work, not that i'm complaining. Getting paid to have my own space, no manager over my shoulder all day and access to music and internet is definitely all good.
I'm still trying to organize my settings and figure out how this program/site works...I don't like change and although this is just as simple as "myspace" or any other site i've been a member of it's still new and i'm still awkward about it.

I can't wait to go to Rock the Bells this sunday. This weekend is going to be fucking off the hook! I'm using my first paid sick day from this job I started in May tomorrow. Maurella and I are going to go to Sea World. We will then have a sleepover with Gary, eat pizza, smoke trees and watch the first two seasons of "Weeds". Saturday we are going to visit a winery in Temecula and then visit that hot club Silk in the Pechanga Casino. I hope we have fun...honestly, I havent been going out lately, we don't have a big group of people going....it could be fun or boring. I know Maurella is more into partying now than she used to be so maybe that's good? Hopefully my sis and maybe Hippo will come out. I know Gary won't be coming. Plus this is like a dress to impress type spot, no jeans, so what would he wear anyway? Pleated dress pants? FUCK NO! I wouldn't go. HAHA

this is officially my first post!

<3